While having a panic attack in front of the entire cast was not on my to do list, it happened.
I hate feeling like I have to be exactly like those around. Those far more pretty and talented. It makes me sick, and I can't help it. Stress doesn't help either.
I want to be her. She knows how to do everything. She's amazing. I say horrible things about her, just to make myself feel better. Yes, she's rude to me, but she's what I want to be.
She's pretty, she plays piano, she's smart, she makes Corbin smile more than I do, she can do anything. And it's frustrating: being that girl behind her. Always behind her.
I just want to be better than her at something. Just once. ONCE.
Then everything will be better.
-Alto
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