Why I'm so dependent.

People lately have been pointing out how dependent I am. And I've denied it for a while, but I am. I am so dependent. Lets see where it started..

Well, I was raised by the king of assholes himself. And my mom, who is the most amazing woman in the world, is blinded by him sometimes. My mother doesn't like my dad. I know because she's constantly complaining about him. And it's not  "in a loving way." It's "Your dad is a dick and needs to stop." I personally don't like him. And he knows that. I know because I'm pretty sure he's read every text, journal, blog, everything. Because he's a dick. 

My brother who is my best friend has serious anger management issues and since we're so close, he takes it out on me. And that hard to handle. Really hard. I can kick his ass, but still. Scary.

My sister, who is 6, thinks she's fat and ugly. All because her brother tells her that she is. She doesn't eat sometimes... And asks if I have make up.. That kills me. She's 6. 

I can't remember the last time my parents hugged me.. Or said I love you. Or I'm proud of you. Anything. The only thing I hear from my dad is how i always manage to get out of the dishes and how much of a hassle I am. So I get rides everywhere. And I try to get involved with as many things as possible so I never have to see him. My mom Is so great and I love her but those rare moments that she turns into father kills me.

So I latch onto people. Like gabby, the love of my life. She's my best friend. I don't think I've kept a "best friend" best friend this long. She's my everything.and Corbin. He was.. Wow. He was just my favorite boy in the entire world. The kids gotta stick around. And now Jackson who just tells me things about myself that I don't believe, but it's nice to hear. And John. Who if he gets his head out of his butt is amazing. And jessi. The girl who's looked up to me forever and would do absolutely anything for me. And hunter. The theater boy. The one who makes me confident in myself. The guy who actually cares if I succeed. The guy who WANTS me to succeed. I love him. He's amazing and I'm so glad that I have shrek with him.

So pretty much what I'm saying is that my friends mean everything to me. And they replace the love that I don't have anywhere else. My friends mean everything and more to me..