Hiding.

Being mad at my dumb old dad always makes me hide somewhere in my house so no one can find me. And it makes me think about everything since I hide for like 5 hours at a time. Things have gotten so much worse. Don't get me wrong, I have an awesome boyfriend, an amazing best friend, and people who make an effort to be in my life. But everything's just getting harder. Life seemed so easy when I could just like someone from a distance and not have people yelling at me for it. I used to be able to walk in a room and I would get to pick what part I wanted in a show. I used to have someone sitting there telling me that I'm good and also helping me to make myself the best I can be. I used to never get mad. I would never get too mad at people and when I did, I didn't talk about it to other people. I'm depressed. And I was able to hide it so well. Everyone thought I was some fun person who's really just a mess. I just want everyone to like me and this year, I've kinda kicked out the people who I just realized are bad to me. And that's a lot of people. I can't believe I've been so oblivious. 

I can a hundred more things wrong with me but I'm gonna pretend there's nothing wrong with me for the next few hours. Pretend that there's no reason to hate myself.