Theatre Kid Problems.

I have been doing theatre for a very long time and it has really become a passion of mine.
Im also a sophomore in high school that thinks way too much about my future. Im already looking into colleges. The only reason is because theatre isnt really reliable. Especially since I'm not... well... the best actress in the world. I went through a phase where i thought i was. But, i really am not. It's pathetic. It is also embarrassing.
BUT i need to find something to "fall back" on. Which really makes everything seem so real now. And difficult. I have no idea what to do now. And its really driving me insane. I do not understand why I am worrying about it now, but everything seems so scary now. Sigh.

-Alto

Crushy Crush Crush.

There is this boy at my school who I've basically known all my life. I never really noticed or talked to him until last year, though. But now, I realize that he's perfect. He does theatre and music, which leads all the assholes that go to my school to think that he is gay.. But i know he isnt. Hes everything that i could hope for in a guy. And i know hes different. Hes not the "different" as in im making up an excuse so i can give him a chance "different." Hes different as in not like every other guy at my school. Not that every guy is a "player" or whatever, I am talking about personality. Looking him in the eyes makes me think more and more that i have found "him." And i really hope that it can happen sometime soon.

Sigh. I like him.

-Alto

High School

Before, I had always dreamed of high school. I was ready for it to be the best time of my life. But boy, what i got was completely unexpected. I go to a catholic school where sports matter the most out of anything. If you are in drama or music, you can consider yourself neglected. Since drama and music are the only things i truly care about, I should have switched schools a while ago. Well, i did try to switch schools. I wanted to go to the biggest public school in town. I went to enrollment and got scared shitless. I mean... It was a beautiful school, but  late enrollment was like a room full of dirty teenage Honey Boo Boos. It was not pleasant. I got through the whole enrollment holding my tongue and when we were four people away from turning in the money to go to the school, I backed out. I couldnt do it. So, in other words, I'm a preppy bitch who is afraid of diversity. Sounds about right. I hate myself for it everyday. I wonder what it would be like if I would have just went.

-Alto