Big city dreams.

Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurts? I have.
It sucks having dreams. In today's world,  you aren't supposed
to have dreams. I mean, come on. You've gotta be like everyone
else. Where's the fun in being original? Yay! Lets all be nurses
and have 4 kids! WHOOO!

Boo. I hate that. Nothin' against nurses, but I can't imagine my
childhood and what I know of my teenage years thus far without
the big "Become an actress" dream that everyone and their mother
seems to have if they don't want to settle for normal. It's hard to
think that I could not make it. I've always looked at myself differently.
"I'm different," I tell myself. But really, am I?


-Alto

Word Vomit.

Im sick.

Body.
Mind.
Soul.

Sick.

Why can't I be happy with myself? When am I going to look in a mirror and even think "Good enough." Why do I find it so hard to believe that people want to talk to me?

I dont let myself get close to people. And so if I open up to you, feel pretty damn special.

Gabby.
Marya.
Corbin.

Ya'll are the best. You are the only thing that keeps me going. I had no one to talk to these past couple weeks and, mostly just marya and gabby, helped me out. Because i mean, they're girl problems.

Corbin does his share by making me feel wanted. He makes me feel like im worth SOMETHING. I know the post below doesnt show that, but im a teenage girl who post her overthinking thoughts immediately on the internet, what do you expect?

-Alto

Dont Let This Be Goodbye

Im immature. I always thought of myself as the most mature person in my class, and sometimes even in grades above me. But really, im not.

Who do I think I am? Im not ready for a RELATIONSHIP. Im not ready for RESPONSIBILITIES. Im not ready to grow up.

This is what i've looked forward to for the longest time. And ... I wasnt ready for what hit me. I see him as one of the best things to happen to me.

I can't live with it, I can't live without it. Please dont leave me. I'd be here..

Stuck..

Alone.

-Alto