Conclusion

I am happy.

Things work out for me all the time.

What my problem is: Im starting to feel forgotten.

I used to be the girl that got the lead in everything. (This has nothing to do with Les Mis, because not making main stage has always been a thing) But at hocker, before the changes, I got whatever I wanted. I was the Sara of Hocker. I got whatever I asked for. Then, I got to BH and got put in the chorus for my first summer. Then, I was up for Berthe in Pippin but was told I needed to be in the chorus because they had to use almost everyone and they couldn't lose Katie, the girl that got it, so I was in the chorus. And I was obviously pissed. I mean, if a director tells you that you were gonna get an amazing part and they stick you in the chorus to keep someone else happy sucks. And she told me that day to "Wait, honey. Your time is coming. Pay your dues and you will be perfectly fine." So I accepted that shitty part with a smile. The next day at the next audition, I got the lead. Yay. Cool. Then, the next summer, I go to auditions.. Got a bad part. Okay. Next show, got a really good part, but it was a singing part and I SUCK AT SINGING AND IT PISSES ME OFF IM WORKING ON IT OKAY and then I got through the first shows thinking "Pay your dues." over and over in my head. That totally got me through that show. Until tech week when the director looked at me and said "Sorry, I gave you characters you cant do anything with." Being in a show and not being remembered is my biggest nightmare. How can I give 100% if you told me there is nothing I can do to be good? Whatever. So I stuck it out. Got Wong at school which was awesome, paid my dues as celeste, and then got Mrs. Paroo. Only problem: I played background to the girl that stole the show when I was the lead, had the other solo song in HTELAC, is 1000000 times better than me at everything and makes me feel super small. I loved that show, but hated myself.

From now on, im only worrying about myself. Like, im not gonna worry about if im stealing the show or anything. Im only gonna worry about making my character the best that I can.

-Alto