Drenched sweater sleeve.

I've always been confident. I've always been there for other people when they were breaking. I'm the best listener that there is. It's not fair for them to see me like this. It's embarrassing. 3 years. A journal lasted me 3 years and the last part of that, a blog. Then. Here I am. Broken. And I can't explain why. I don't know how to explain something I can't understand myself. I also can't tell my parents. Because I was doing dishes and I started sobbing. For no reason. No idea why. The tears stopped me from talking. Choking everytime I tried to speak. My parents saw it as me trying to get out of it so.. i cant tell them.Something's wrong with you when you can just sit there and not think about your life, only the things wrong with you, and find yourself sitting in the same spot for 3 hours talking to yourself about that topic and everything wrong with it. I'm letting everyone down and it's killing me. I can't thank Ethan, who knows nothing, enough for the things he said to me today. And Gabby. For making sure I wasn't pouting instead of really not being able to go. Ahhhh. I'm letting down my baby Aidan too but I can't talk about that without wanting to punch myself in the face. 

Cmowmtthswm;lmmtyelab

-Alto